Confirmed: [seemingly] impossible goals can be achieved

So I didn't really give enough credit to how awesome my Saturday night was in my own mind. In hindsight, it was kind of really fantastic. Largely because I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. And honestly, I always have way more fun with strangers that I meet just before going out. Is that sad? Whatever, it's true.

It was also partly fantastic because I achieved one of my life goals - the one that was least likely no less. HA! But more on that later.

Saturday was my good friend Dan's birthday partay. He's the only other friend I talk to from high school, and apparently the pattern there is I only keep in touch with my gay friends. But the pattern really is that I only keep in touch with my FUN friends. The level of lame that 99% of my high school friends have achieved will absolutely blow your mind. And not in a good way. So I don't want your mind to be blown.

Originally I wasn't going to go because I wasn't sure if I wanted to show up alone but then I was like, "D, you're crazy - it is never not a good time with Dan & you're increda-social...who cares if you're showing up alone!? Lest you forget how much fun you had the last time you went to a gay bar with Dan..."

Sidestory
One night last summer, I was out in Toronto with girlfriends (before I moved here) and managed to predrink a little too heavily which resulted in getting kicked out of the bar about 6 minutes after getting in. I'm not the type of person to pull others out of the bar to take care of me & ruin their fun - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (thanks Matthew 7:12...& Google) - so I told the girls not to worry about me, I had a plan & we'd meet up afterwards.

My brilliant plan consisted of asking Dan to text me the address of the bar he was at & I would Google Map my way over there via my BlackBerry. I mean, my BlackBerry is amazing but let's be serious - I was just kicked out of a bar...LOL Which is probably the best thing that could have happened because that night was awesome! The played Dance Mix '95. Need I say more? That night, the gay community stole my [dancing] heart.

Back to present day
So I hott up & go to Dan's birthday pre-drink. Pretty gay boys everywhere! They're just so much fun. Also met Dan's boyfriend - they're so so cute together :) Also met his ex-bf - he sure knows how to pick 'em! By now I'm beyond glad that I won't be dealing with any straight boy bullshit tonight & can just have fun! Sweet!

First tweet of the night: Caaaaan't even get over how social i am! I love gay boys :)

Just before leaving for the bar I was talking to a guy when it came up that this would also be his second time at a gay bar.

Me: Really? How come?
Guy: Well, I just normally go to other bars.
Me: Oh, ok then. How can a gay guy NOT prefer going to gay bars?! Craziness.

Well here's the thing...turns out he's not gay.

Me: Ooooh, omg I'm sorry I just kind of I assumed that!
Guy: No no that's ok...people often say I look very metro.
No darling. You look as gay as any of these other boys here. But leave it to me to find the one "straight" guy in a pack of like 30.

As we head to the bar, I'm totally not thrilled about how I now likely have to spend my night either A) getting rid of him [nicely], or B) expending a serious amount of effort into not giving out an "I could in some lifetime potentially be interested" vibe while also trying to have a good time.

Fortunately I didn't have to resort to either. While grabbing drinks at the bar with him, some guy chatted him up - shocking, I know - so I turned around to head back to the dance floor & who do I see...Dan's ex-bf.

Me: Hey you! Haven't seen ya around all night!
Ex: Ya eh! *stares at me with indescribable baby blues & a smile that is to die for...excuse me while I melt*

Last tweet of the night: I may or may not be making out with my gay friend;s ex-bf...yaaa meeee I'm almost acvcomplishing me life goala [excuse my shitty drunken typing]

And by making out I mean the type of hardcore macking on eachother all over the bar that you are embarrassed about the next day when your friends fill you in. And no, I am nowhere near embarrassed. How could I be embarrassed about achieving my #1 goal in life of hooking up with a gay guy? A gay guy as beautiful as him, no less.

Oh & don't worry - Dan was fully aware & ok with it. Not that I remembered to ask for permission ahead of time. Plus, 'straight' guy's face when he turned around to follow me to the dancefloor (which I only saw from the corner of my eye because I was already busy) - priceless.

My [dancing] heart still belongs to the gay community.

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Let's all wave buh-bye to #LatinLover!

I've pretty much analyzed this topic to death in my head but I should probably conclude the story of #LatinLover since I made it into somewhat of a big deal over the past month. He turned out to be pretty useless. Is that sufficient? No? Damn, ok.

As I mentioned in this post, things on my end had cooled off while he was away on his Southeast Asia trip. I tried so hard not be attached that I became pretty much entirely detached & kind of shut down to the whole situation.

Honestly, it should not be that easy because I have tried many-a-times to force myself to get over guys & it never rarely works so well. And I was supposed to actually be into this one! This was before he did things to piss me off of course.

Before going on his trip, he had asked me what I was up to the last weekend of February & proceeded to invite me to a cottage weekend trip with his friends. I was open to the idea (even though I'm kind of a princess when it comes to 'outdoors-y' things) so I told him we could talk about it when he was back.

So when he got back he obviously brought up the trip. I asked for details such as you know...how are we even getting there? All I got was a vague, maybe, not-100%-sure answer. Umm ok - so how about you figure that out & then talk to me? K thanks.

By Wednesday these plans had gotten overly complicated & I just don’t do complicated. But what really got me was that while discussing this, he didn't respond to my texts for 4 hours. You've got to be kidding me right now. You're doing an excellent job of convincing me to come, really.

Sorry, I guess I should have sat you down from day one and explained to you that communication is the most important thing to me and shitty skills are a complete deal breaker. I have no time in my life to deal with poor communication. Especially when I know how psycho-analytical I can get - it's for my own sanity. And therefore everyone else's.

So since we're all intelligent adults here - who here thinks there's still a remote chance of me going on this cottage trip that I pretty much know nothing about? Thank you, my point exactly.

I didn't bother responding or initializing convo after that but he asked me to come over after my Bulgarian folk dancing class [which btw, I love! :D] – I said maybe because frankly, I didn't really care about seeing him.

Well Bulgarian folk dancing puts me in such a good mood, that I figured I should really give the guy a chance since he hadn't really done anything wrong and I hadn't seen him in nearly 3 weeks. Once I got there, the first things he asks me is, "So are you coming tomorrow?!"

To me this question signifies two things: 1) you are being fucking ignorant of the last 24hrs & 2) you're just plain dumb.

Both of the above are clearly true because his response to finding out I wasn't joining him was, "What?! You're not coming!?"

Honestly, I've had a long day & I'm tired. Now you're making my brain bleed. Do you think that after our discussions, or lack thereof, that transpired over the last 48 hours I would be coming? Can we FOR THE LOVE OF GOD just PLEASE watch Jersey Shore so that I can go home to bed? K thanks.

I'm fairly certain that by the end of the night he sensed something was up. Maybe he read my mind while we were cuddling & making out when I was thinking, "Wow, you could honestly just be any warm body right now & it wouldn't even matter to me. This is really not good." Either way, I left & went to bed.

The next [Friday] morning I again felt kind of bad because again - he hadn't really done anything to deserve my 'lack of enthusiasm'. Before work I texted wishing him a good day. No response. That's ok probably busy at work, whatever. After work I wished him a good weekend. No response.

And that was the case for the next 96 hours. That's 4 days by the way - more than 50% of one full week. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was dating a little girl! Grow some fucking balls buddy & if I've hurt your feelings use your words, not immaturity, to tell me how you feel. And whatever lame way he decided to finally break the ice with doesn't even matter at this point. It's beyond over for me and mentally, I've completely moved on.

As per the advice I recently received, I should quit wasting my time and his. Done. My biggest concern right now - getting back the book I lent him.

And fighting to get back the one thing I truly want - if I even still have a chance. More on that another time.

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No smitten kittens in sight

This is a random, out-of-the-blue rant and I don't even know if I'm going to hit "publish post". If you're reading this...I obviously did.

#LatinLover is back. He got back yesterday actually and he did text me, which i'm gonna be honest - I had completely betted against. I really didn't see the need to get my hopes up. Especially...when I've been doubting how I feel. 2 weeks on followed by 2 weeks off gave me plenty of time to re-asses my feelings.

Is he a nice guy? Yes. Do i like him? I def don't dislike him. Do i like the idea of him? Yes. Do i like the idea of someone? Yeah that's most likely it. Unfortunately.

I know me.If I'm not a smitten kitten from the start, then things will most likely fizzle out. I know that sounds like I expect a lot, but really - it has happened & those have been the best flings and/or relationships regardless of their ending.

Don't get me wrong, i was intrigued when we met...but that intrigue was never really topped. It was just kind of there - chillin'. Till we finally had the chance to hang out. It was a fun date, which ended probably not how first dates should end - keep them in suspense is good advice i don't listen to - but there was none of *that*. Whatever you want to call *that*.

Now that he's back, I don't even care much to make plans with him. Except for the fact that I agreed to save all of Jersey Shore for when he got back, and since I like to keep my word, I did. Dying. To. Watch. Them. Eek!

So anyway, he's invited me to a cottage with his friends for the weekend - which is what's going to delay Jersey Shore even more! - however I'm not interested. I don't have any good excuse per se...except I just don't want to go. Plain & simple. I mean, obv i do want to see him at some point again (preferably sooner rather than later because the Jersey Shore suspense is just short of killing me) since it's probably better to  confirm the re-assessment of my feelings in person and not just on a whim.

I guess I just don't want to hurt his feelings, because he really is a nice guy. However, nice guy isn't enough. Especially for me. Let's face it #LatinLover, you've failed miserably at making me forget about #Rockstar [you'd know from the tweets the last few days], but not only that - I've been somewhat intrigued by new people that I've met. That is most definitely not a sign of a smitten kitten!

Haha I had to, too cute!

Nuff said? I think so. Rant over. God, I love this outlet.

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Oh 80s, How I Love You

I love the 80s. Everything about them. It has bred the majority of my favourite music and movies, not to mention some great TV shows.

There's something about listening to that music and watching those movies that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. A feeling that nothing else gives me. I don't really think anyone gets it. But i'm so OK with that.

This warm and fuzzy feeling is usually accompanied by tears, but i wouldn't have it any other way! I'm an emotional gal, whattaya want?! :)

Of course I can't not give you some of my top faves, in no particular order:

- Dirty Dancing <3 [and soundtrack]

- Classic Bon Jovi

- Sixteen Candles

- The Breakfast Club

- Baywatch

- the Tom Cruise we all actually liked

- Overboard

- When Harry Met Sally

- so many random songs it'd make your head spin

I will leave you with one of the songs i LOVE & a classic 80s movie i hadn't seen until tonight which inspired this post...

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Celeb Parents aren't REAL Parents

I'm kind of torn about whether or not i even want to share the following with you lovely people. I'm not even sure what the right word(s) is(are) to describe my thoughts on this.

I'll just get down to it. Watch this video - i completely understand if you can't get through it entirely, i will not blame you.

W.T.F. That is a 5 year old singing. Well Wikipedia says 10. I frankly don't give a shit. This is goddamn ridiculous.

FIRST of all, where the fuck do i start? Aside from this is just making me swear a lot. MAYBE i wouldn't be so put out if she was singing about lollipops or something. K, SCRATCH THAT! Lest we forget Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" from a few years ago.

5 10yr olds should not have record deals and videos. Call me old-fashioned. Very few child stars make it out alive. Why would you put your kid through that?

Second of all...i actually listened to the lyrics.

I'ma get more shine than a little bit 

Soon as i hit the stage applause im hearing it 

whether its black stars black cars im feeling it 

but can't none of them whip it like i do 

I, i gets it in mmmm yea i go hard 

when they see me pull up i whip it real hard 

i whip it real hard,real hard,i whip it real hard

Wow. I'd probably cringe a little bit even if it was an adult singing it. But it's not. She's 5 10.

Thirdly, just because the video is set in an elementary school does not make this ok. In fact, this means other children are subjected to it - but mostly, other children's parents think this is normal!!!! For the record, it's not.

And fourthly...let's get down to who "she" is. Willow Smith. Ya, Will Smith is her daddy. I may heart the crap outta the guy but i am SUPER disappointed right now. I had more faith in you than making both of your children into child stars.At least Jaden is acting in child-like roles [I haven't actually seen The Karate Kid though]. Seriously. You should know better. Now i resent you - is this what you wanted?! Don't answer that.

This is pretty good backup as to why i friging hate the youth of today. *sigh*

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