Rough Week

Yesterday was rough. So much so that it definitely required italicization. In fact, the past week has been pretty rough; some days more than others. But they all involved some level of "Seriously, this too?!" Best represented though this image.

Source: pinterest-daily.com via Melissa on Pinterest

I'm nor here to whine about my first world problems; just venting so I can get back on my 2013 Train of Positivity. Best train ever I tell ya! It's just hard to focus on it when little shit things keep popping up.

Here's to not letting this Monday define the rest of the week & month!

Foto Friday

This has been my week...plus walking around like a sleep-deprived zombie.

TGIF, for real.

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No smitten kittens in sight

This is a random, out-of-the-blue rant and I don't even know if I'm going to hit "publish post". If you're reading this...I obviously did.

#LatinLover is back. He got back yesterday actually and he did text me, which i'm gonna be honest - I had completely betted against. I really didn't see the need to get my hopes up. Especially...when I've been doubting how I feel. 2 weeks on followed by 2 weeks off gave me plenty of time to re-asses my feelings.

Is he a nice guy? Yes. Do i like him? I def don't dislike him. Do i like the idea of him? Yes. Do i like the idea of someone? Yeah that's most likely it. Unfortunately.

I know me.If I'm not a smitten kitten from the start, then things will most likely fizzle out. I know that sounds like I expect a lot, but really - it has happened & those have been the best flings and/or relationships regardless of their ending.

Don't get me wrong, i was intrigued when we met...but that intrigue was never really topped. It was just kind of there - chillin'. Till we finally had the chance to hang out. It was a fun date, which ended probably not how first dates should end - keep them in suspense is good advice i don't listen to - but there was none of *that*. Whatever you want to call *that*.

Now that he's back, I don't even care much to make plans with him. Except for the fact that I agreed to save all of Jersey Shore for when he got back, and since I like to keep my word, I did. Dying. To. Watch. Them. Eek!

So anyway, he's invited me to a cottage with his friends for the weekend - which is what's going to delay Jersey Shore even more! - however I'm not interested. I don't have any good excuse per se...except I just don't want to go. Plain & simple. I mean, obv i do want to see him at some point again (preferably sooner rather than later because the Jersey Shore suspense is just short of killing me) since it's probably better to  confirm the re-assessment of my feelings in person and not just on a whim.

I guess I just don't want to hurt his feelings, because he really is a nice guy. However, nice guy isn't enough. Especially for me. Let's face it #LatinLover, you've failed miserably at making me forget about #Rockstar [you'd know from the tweets the last few days], but not only that - I've been somewhat intrigued by new people that I've met. That is most definitely not a sign of a smitten kitten!

Haha I had to, too cute!

Nuff said? I think so. Rant over. God, I love this outlet.

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Mind Occupation

So how’s my withdrawal going? Excellently actually, I’ve barely noticed...until I actually start thinking about the fact that I’ve barely noticed. LOL Either way, I’m pretty proud and probably deserve a gold star.

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The key is to keep my mind occupied. Obvious, I know. Plus, my ‘Master to-do list’ has gotten pretty long as of late - I kind of procrastinate a little a lot - so I decided I would focus on that. I work much better with a deadline anyway & 2 weeks isn’t that long, so nothing like a time crunch!

I’ve compiled a list of things that I would ideally like to accomplish during the time leading up to le return. Key word being ideally. It has an appropriate & very creative title of course.

Things To Do While #LatinLover is Away

1. Finally finish my blog pages & post them

2. Spice up my blog layout

3. Resume activity on 20SB

4. Learn to crochet [only mildly far-fetched]

5. Try yoga

6. Finally start going to Bulgarian folk dancing [aka make mommy proud]

7. Stop thinking about cuddling [that doesn’t count]

8. Make large dent in 1984 [seriously failing at reading lately]

9. Catch up on The Vampire Diaries [I stopped watching in November]

10. Burn the playlists I’ve been compiling

11. Dye my hair [might be hard - I'm generally allergic to hair dye :(]

12. Get a proper hair cut [I’ve been cutting my own bangs for 3 months - they are horrid]

13. Super clean my apartment

14. Go see Black Swan [DONE! so good :)]

15. Try 2 new meal recipes

16. Try at least 1 new dessert recipe

17. Go on my eliptical every (other) day [it's collecting dust in the closet]

18. Stop thinking about cuddling [Bah!]

19. Drink [potentially correlated with the above]

20. Smile & be happy :)

I’m taking bets on how many of these I actually accomplish...

…well not all at once now...

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Emo Dump

I really don’t have a smooth way to transition into the emotional word dump that’s about to follow so here it is.

I spent a good chunk of Sunday being pretty restless & anxious. I wanted to do a million things at once, yet nothing at all because I wouldn’t know where to begin. That coupled with early withdrawal from the boy I recently started seeing was quite the mindfuck. Especially for a Sunday.

HOLD UP! Yes, I know you may be a bit confused right now since I have been slightly secretive about this. First off, since I am fond of code names (i.e.: Rockstar, Frenchie) we will call him #LatinLover. I also like hashtags, remember?

So long story short, I met him at a post-work function when I first started here in November - don’t worry, I know exactly what you’re thinking re: office romances and I agree - but I didn’t see him again until our work Christmas party at the end of December. There we got to talking and decided we should hang out sometime.

Fast-forward through last-minute Christmas shopping, Christmas, New Year’s and me being sick for 2 weeks, to our date a couple of weeks ago. Dinner, drinks & good convo - can’t go wrong with that! False. This is where my secrecy comes in. I got so wrapped up in ranting about how much I enjoy adore social networking that I let it slip that I have a blog. That would be fine if he wasn’t now semi-intent (not really sure just how much honestly) on finding my blog. Thank you big-mouthed self. #epicfail

Now, I haven’t reallly talked about this, however this blog is not shared with people in my ‘real’ life. None of my friends or family know and I would like to keep it that way. This is my outlet where I can say whatever and know that readers will “get it”. If I wanted others’ opinions, I would have a conversation with them.

Anyway, the last 2 weeks I’ve wondered what I’m going to do if #LatinLover ever discovered this baby. That finally came to a head with my anxiety yesterday. I don’t care. If he finds it then we should both be prepared to deal with it. Really though, I’m not responsible for how it makes him feel so if I were him I’d seriously consider whether I would really want to know everything.

I still don’t think that it’s fair for me to be subconsciously censoring myself (which I’m sure will be the case) but it was my own mistake. He’s been told that it’s private and not to bother looking. Obedience test? Just kidding.

Back to present day though. You know when you start dating someone then start spending more time with them & absolutely love that time together?! And then life gets in the way of that? Yeah it happens far too often. So he’s in between jobs - told ya not to worry about the office romance! - so took the opportunity to travel Southeast Asia for the next 2 weeks. I’m sure this will be a trip of a lifetime & I’m happy he’s doing it, but quite frankly THIS IS ABOUT ME.

The problem with me is that when I like you, I REALLY LIKE you. I don’t go psycho girl on a guy, that’s just not cool. But I’m just ridiculously loyal - it’s a Sagittarius thing, and anyone will tell you it’s our best quality. So I start to let my guard down and the vulnerability factor SKYROCKETS. Not to mention that I inevitably start to wonder where this is all going to go and of course...whether I’m going to get hurt yet again.

So Life, you’re telling me that I will have to spend the next 2 weeks (with no communication) driving myself crazy?! Fine. But you owe me...

Sometimes you just need something to get you through the day!

Today was definitely one of those days. Which actually started last night. I really hate when I"m not able to sleep off my blahness - it really just makes it worse! Gah!

The fact that today half of work took a so-called 'snow day' for the fake 'snowmaggedon' we got didn't help things at. all.

Lucky for me I can always count on the blogosphere and new musical discoveries to cheer me up!

Big thank you to Rach for this post which really resonated with some of the things I was feeling or thought I was feeling! Seriously appreciated!

And on the hunt for my next fave song, I came out far too successful. I say 'far too' only because this song has been on repeat at work and home since I discovered it this morning! And I may or may not have already gone a bit nuts LOL

This is actually a Bulgarian song so for those who are curious and want exposure, go for it!! For those you don't...we'll see you back here next time when I resume my English-only posting :)

Аромат на мен - Как ти стои?
Топлина от мен - Как ти стои?
Любовта от мен - Как ти стои?
Само погледнии...

Нацелуван от мен - Как ти стои?
Събуден от мен - Как ти стои?
Погледни ме добре, вземаш ли ме?

Твоя тип жена и размер на любовта,
страшно ти стои ще ме вземеш ли, кажи?
Твоя тип жена и размер на любовта
всичко имаш ти сега и мене си вземи!

Притеснен от мен - Как ти стои?
Изморен от мен - Как ти стои?
Любовта от мен - Как ти стои?
Само погледнии..

Нацелуван от мен - Как ти стои?
Събуден от мен - Как ти стои?
Погледниме добре, вземаш ли ме?

Твоя тип жена и размер на любовта,
страшно ти стои ще ме вземеш ли, кажи?
Твоя тип жена и размер на любовта
всичко имаш ти сега и мене си вземи!

♥

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