And that's how every date should end...

I kind of had an awesome date the other night. I guess ‘officially’ it would be our first date but without all the awkwardness, which is always a plus.

While walking back from the movies - seeing Hangover 2 was so us, seriously - I guess it started drizzling which I didn’t feel because I was way too into the story I was telling.

M: “Do you feel that?”
me: “No? What?”
M: “Nevermind...”

I keep telling my story but then do feel some rain drops.

me: “Oh the rain drops? Ya I felt that."
M: “Ugh no, I meant the chemistry...” totally trying to keep a straight face

Umm yes, you may kiss me now please :)

 *D

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Confirmed: [seemingly] impossible goals can be achieved

So I didn't really give enough credit to how awesome my Saturday night was in my own mind. In hindsight, it was kind of really fantastic. Largely because I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. And honestly, I always have way more fun with strangers that I meet just before going out. Is that sad? Whatever, it's true.

It was also partly fantastic because I achieved one of my life goals - the one that was least likely no less. HA! But more on that later.

Saturday was my good friend Dan's birthday partay. He's the only other friend I talk to from high school, and apparently the pattern there is I only keep in touch with my gay friends. But the pattern really is that I only keep in touch with my FUN friends. The level of lame that 99% of my high school friends have achieved will absolutely blow your mind. And not in a good way. So I don't want your mind to be blown.

Originally I wasn't going to go because I wasn't sure if I wanted to show up alone but then I was like, "D, you're crazy - it is never not a good time with Dan & you're increda-social...who cares if you're showing up alone!? Lest you forget how much fun you had the last time you went to a gay bar with Dan..."

Sidestory
One night last summer, I was out in Toronto with girlfriends (before I moved here) and managed to predrink a little too heavily which resulted in getting kicked out of the bar about 6 minutes after getting in. I'm not the type of person to pull others out of the bar to take care of me & ruin their fun - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (thanks Matthew 7:12...& Google) - so I told the girls not to worry about me, I had a plan & we'd meet up afterwards.

My brilliant plan consisted of asking Dan to text me the address of the bar he was at & I would Google Map my way over there via my BlackBerry. I mean, my BlackBerry is amazing but let's be serious - I was just kicked out of a bar...LOL Which is probably the best thing that could have happened because that night was awesome! The played Dance Mix '95. Need I say more? That night, the gay community stole my [dancing] heart.

Back to present day
So I hott up & go to Dan's birthday pre-drink. Pretty gay boys everywhere! They're just so much fun. Also met Dan's boyfriend - they're so so cute together :) Also met his ex-bf - he sure knows how to pick 'em! By now I'm beyond glad that I won't be dealing with any straight boy bullshit tonight & can just have fun! Sweet!

First tweet of the night: Caaaaan't even get over how social i am! I love gay boys :)

Just before leaving for the bar I was talking to a guy when it came up that this would also be his second time at a gay bar.

Me: Really? How come?
Guy: Well, I just normally go to other bars.
Me: Oh, ok then. How can a gay guy NOT prefer going to gay bars?! Craziness.

Well here's the thing...turns out he's not gay.

Me: Ooooh, omg I'm sorry I just kind of I assumed that!
Guy: No no that's ok...people often say I look very metro.
No darling. You look as gay as any of these other boys here. But leave it to me to find the one "straight" guy in a pack of like 30.

As we head to the bar, I'm totally not thrilled about how I now likely have to spend my night either A) getting rid of him [nicely], or B) expending a serious amount of effort into not giving out an "I could in some lifetime potentially be interested" vibe while also trying to have a good time.

Fortunately I didn't have to resort to either. While grabbing drinks at the bar with him, some guy chatted him up - shocking, I know - so I turned around to head back to the dance floor & who do I see...Dan's ex-bf.

Me: Hey you! Haven't seen ya around all night!
Ex: Ya eh! *stares at me with indescribable baby blues & a smile that is to die for...excuse me while I melt*

Last tweet of the night: I may or may not be making out with my gay friend;s ex-bf...yaaa meeee I'm almost acvcomplishing me life goala [excuse my shitty drunken typing]

And by making out I mean the type of hardcore macking on eachother all over the bar that you are embarrassed about the next day when your friends fill you in. And no, I am nowhere near embarrassed. How could I be embarrassed about achieving my #1 goal in life of hooking up with a gay guy? A gay guy as beautiful as him, no less.

Oh & don't worry - Dan was fully aware & ok with it. Not that I remembered to ask for permission ahead of time. Plus, 'straight' guy's face when he turned around to follow me to the dancefloor (which I only saw from the corner of my eye because I was already busy) - priceless.

My [dancing] heart still belongs to the gay community.

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Excuse me while I drool...

Delicious. The only non-graphic adjective I can use.

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Let's all wave buh-bye to #LatinLover!

I've pretty much analyzed this topic to death in my head but I should probably conclude the story of #LatinLover since I made it into somewhat of a big deal over the past month. He turned out to be pretty useless. Is that sufficient? No? Damn, ok.

As I mentioned in this post, things on my end had cooled off while he was away on his Southeast Asia trip. I tried so hard not be attached that I became pretty much entirely detached & kind of shut down to the whole situation.

Honestly, it should not be that easy because I have tried many-a-times to force myself to get over guys & it never rarely works so well. And I was supposed to actually be into this one! This was before he did things to piss me off of course.

Before going on his trip, he had asked me what I was up to the last weekend of February & proceeded to invite me to a cottage weekend trip with his friends. I was open to the idea (even though I'm kind of a princess when it comes to 'outdoors-y' things) so I told him we could talk about it when he was back.

So when he got back he obviously brought up the trip. I asked for details such as you know...how are we even getting there? All I got was a vague, maybe, not-100%-sure answer. Umm ok - so how about you figure that out & then talk to me? K thanks.

By Wednesday these plans had gotten overly complicated & I just don’t do complicated. But what really got me was that while discussing this, he didn't respond to my texts for 4 hours. You've got to be kidding me right now. You're doing an excellent job of convincing me to come, really.

Sorry, I guess I should have sat you down from day one and explained to you that communication is the most important thing to me and shitty skills are a complete deal breaker. I have no time in my life to deal with poor communication. Especially when I know how psycho-analytical I can get - it's for my own sanity. And therefore everyone else's.

So since we're all intelligent adults here - who here thinks there's still a remote chance of me going on this cottage trip that I pretty much know nothing about? Thank you, my point exactly.

I didn't bother responding or initializing convo after that but he asked me to come over after my Bulgarian folk dancing class [which btw, I love! :D] – I said maybe because frankly, I didn't really care about seeing him.

Well Bulgarian folk dancing puts me in such a good mood, that I figured I should really give the guy a chance since he hadn't really done anything wrong and I hadn't seen him in nearly 3 weeks. Once I got there, the first things he asks me is, "So are you coming tomorrow?!"

To me this question signifies two things: 1) you are being fucking ignorant of the last 24hrs & 2) you're just plain dumb.

Both of the above are clearly true because his response to finding out I wasn't joining him was, "What?! You're not coming!?"

Honestly, I've had a long day & I'm tired. Now you're making my brain bleed. Do you think that after our discussions, or lack thereof, that transpired over the last 48 hours I would be coming? Can we FOR THE LOVE OF GOD just PLEASE watch Jersey Shore so that I can go home to bed? K thanks.

I'm fairly certain that by the end of the night he sensed something was up. Maybe he read my mind while we were cuddling & making out when I was thinking, "Wow, you could honestly just be any warm body right now & it wouldn't even matter to me. This is really not good." Either way, I left & went to bed.

The next [Friday] morning I again felt kind of bad because again - he hadn't really done anything to deserve my 'lack of enthusiasm'. Before work I texted wishing him a good day. No response. That's ok probably busy at work, whatever. After work I wished him a good weekend. No response.

And that was the case for the next 96 hours. That's 4 days by the way - more than 50% of one full week. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was dating a little girl! Grow some fucking balls buddy & if I've hurt your feelings use your words, not immaturity, to tell me how you feel. And whatever lame way he decided to finally break the ice with doesn't even matter at this point. It's beyond over for me and mentally, I've completely moved on.

As per the advice I recently received, I should quit wasting my time and his. Done. My biggest concern right now - getting back the book I lent him.

And fighting to get back the one thing I truly want - if I even still have a chance. More on that another time.

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My 6° of Separation from Vinny Guadagnino

Vinny of Jersey Shore famousness was at my hometown club hotspot - Dragonfly - last weekend. I would have made the trek if I had a partner in crime...and if I had had any remote chance of seeing him. Regardless, here's a photo of him post-appearance at the club.

Vinny's lookin' as cute as ever! Along with my juicehead ex-boyfriend. Thaaaaaaaaaaat's right. I dated that steroid-pumping bouncer...and loved every single minute of it!

Back in 2008 I was looking for love in all the wrong places - let's be real here, I still am - and had the most spectacular summer fling with said bouncer.

It was everything I would have wanted in a summer fling - started out of nowhere, full of late nights, early mornings, can't-get-enough-of-eachother amounts of time spent together [aka a lot], club perks for the bouncer's girlfriend and her friends (that's me! haha), tears at the airport...and an ending that was just as abrupt as the beginning.

And then I rebounded with Frenchie LOL If you don't know how that went then check out part 1, part 2, part 3 & part 4 of the Frenchie saga.

If you get the chance to date a bouncer without getting attached, I recommend it. It's a fun experience ;)

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Foto Friday

This has been my week...plus walking around like a sleep-deprived zombie.

TGIF, for real.

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No smitten kittens in sight

This is a random, out-of-the-blue rant and I don't even know if I'm going to hit "publish post". If you're reading this...I obviously did.

#LatinLover is back. He got back yesterday actually and he did text me, which i'm gonna be honest - I had completely betted against. I really didn't see the need to get my hopes up. Especially...when I've been doubting how I feel. 2 weeks on followed by 2 weeks off gave me plenty of time to re-asses my feelings.

Is he a nice guy? Yes. Do i like him? I def don't dislike him. Do i like the idea of him? Yes. Do i like the idea of someone? Yeah that's most likely it. Unfortunately.

I know me.If I'm not a smitten kitten from the start, then things will most likely fizzle out. I know that sounds like I expect a lot, but really - it has happened & those have been the best flings and/or relationships regardless of their ending.

Don't get me wrong, i was intrigued when we met...but that intrigue was never really topped. It was just kind of there - chillin'. Till we finally had the chance to hang out. It was a fun date, which ended probably not how first dates should end - keep them in suspense is good advice i don't listen to - but there was none of *that*. Whatever you want to call *that*.

Now that he's back, I don't even care much to make plans with him. Except for the fact that I agreed to save all of Jersey Shore for when he got back, and since I like to keep my word, I did. Dying. To. Watch. Them. Eek!

So anyway, he's invited me to a cottage with his friends for the weekend - which is what's going to delay Jersey Shore even more! - however I'm not interested. I don't have any good excuse per se...except I just don't want to go. Plain & simple. I mean, obv i do want to see him at some point again (preferably sooner rather than later because the Jersey Shore suspense is just short of killing me) since it's probably better to  confirm the re-assessment of my feelings in person and not just on a whim.

I guess I just don't want to hurt his feelings, because he really is a nice guy. However, nice guy isn't enough. Especially for me. Let's face it #LatinLover, you've failed miserably at making me forget about #Rockstar [you'd know from the tweets the last few days], but not only that - I've been somewhat intrigued by new people that I've met. That is most definitely not a sign of a smitten kitten!

Haha I had to, too cute!

Nuff said? I think so. Rant over. God, I love this outlet.

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Emo Dump

I really don’t have a smooth way to transition into the emotional word dump that’s about to follow so here it is.

I spent a good chunk of Sunday being pretty restless & anxious. I wanted to do a million things at once, yet nothing at all because I wouldn’t know where to begin. That coupled with early withdrawal from the boy I recently started seeing was quite the mindfuck. Especially for a Sunday.

HOLD UP! Yes, I know you may be a bit confused right now since I have been slightly secretive about this. First off, since I am fond of code names (i.e.: Rockstar, Frenchie) we will call him #LatinLover. I also like hashtags, remember?

So long story short, I met him at a post-work function when I first started here in November - don’t worry, I know exactly what you’re thinking re: office romances and I agree - but I didn’t see him again until our work Christmas party at the end of December. There we got to talking and decided we should hang out sometime.

Fast-forward through last-minute Christmas shopping, Christmas, New Year’s and me being sick for 2 weeks, to our date a couple of weeks ago. Dinner, drinks & good convo - can’t go wrong with that! False. This is where my secrecy comes in. I got so wrapped up in ranting about how much I enjoy adore social networking that I let it slip that I have a blog. That would be fine if he wasn’t now semi-intent (not really sure just how much honestly) on finding my blog. Thank you big-mouthed self. #epicfail

Now, I haven’t reallly talked about this, however this blog is not shared with people in my ‘real’ life. None of my friends or family know and I would like to keep it that way. This is my outlet where I can say whatever and know that readers will “get it”. If I wanted others’ opinions, I would have a conversation with them.

Anyway, the last 2 weeks I’ve wondered what I’m going to do if #LatinLover ever discovered this baby. That finally came to a head with my anxiety yesterday. I don’t care. If he finds it then we should both be prepared to deal with it. Really though, I’m not responsible for how it makes him feel so if I were him I’d seriously consider whether I would really want to know everything.

I still don’t think that it’s fair for me to be subconsciously censoring myself (which I’m sure will be the case) but it was my own mistake. He’s been told that it’s private and not to bother looking. Obedience test? Just kidding.

Back to present day though. You know when you start dating someone then start spending more time with them & absolutely love that time together?! And then life gets in the way of that? Yeah it happens far too often. So he’s in between jobs - told ya not to worry about the office romance! - so took the opportunity to travel Southeast Asia for the next 2 weeks. I’m sure this will be a trip of a lifetime & I’m happy he’s doing it, but quite frankly THIS IS ABOUT ME.

The problem with me is that when I like you, I REALLY LIKE you. I don’t go psycho girl on a guy, that’s just not cool. But I’m just ridiculously loyal - it’s a Sagittarius thing, and anyone will tell you it’s our best quality. So I start to let my guard down and the vulnerability factor SKYROCKETS. Not to mention that I inevitably start to wonder where this is all going to go and of course...whether I’m going to get hurt yet again.

So Life, you’re telling me that I will have to spend the next 2 weeks (with no communication) driving myself crazy?! Fine. But you owe me...

Frenchie, part 3

For part 1, go here.

For part 2, go here.

So i started reading Twilight b/c it was way more entertaining than reading my notes. I won't lie, i really really enjoyed the books. The story and everything was great until i started picturing these two douches as the main characters:

Douches.

If you're a big reader like myself (not counting the fact that i haven't picked up a book in months!) you know how you subconsciously create the characters' appearance. Part of the fun of reading :) They ruined it. ANYWAY...

Well, this one day i'm waiting for a friend to finish class and who walks into the lounge...my own personal Edward. Seriously. Exactly how I had pictured him & wanted him to be! He had just walked right by me! Who was this boy i had never noticed before?!

I dug around for some dirt & it turned out Swiss Edward was maintaining a long-distance relationship. But Switzerland isn't just another area code, it's another country! And it's not even part of the EU so that practically makes them a different continent. Or planet. I'm terrible, i know this.

I got my first chance at an interaction when we headed to the local bar one random weeknight. By the time we got there i had already polished off a bottle of wine but nothing stops me. Long story short, the mutual flirting was on max. Higher than max, whatever that measurement is.

Leading up to Halloween, i ran into his friend & asked them what their costume plans were. He wasn't sure about his but Swiss was going to be a *dun dun dunnnn* you got it - VAMPIRE! It was a sign, and no one could convince me otherwise! NO ONE!

This Catwoman was ready for a challenge!

Don't worry, Frenchie is still a part of this. I saw him at a neighbour's flat before going to the Halloween pre-drink and he was going as a white Bob Marley. He had pretty much established himself as a pothead by this time so that wasn't a shocker. I ignored him like he really didn't exist. He definitely did not like that.

Within 5 minutes of walking into the pre-drink, my Edward had spotted me. He looked great. I felt great. Lust.

Why am i not an actress?

If i start telling you how much fun we had owning the dancefloor i'm going to get all distracted.  It was fun. Of course his one gal friend didn't hide her distaste but fuck her.

Enter: Frenchie. WHOA what happened to white Marley? B/c now you're face-painted as a CAT! I'm Catwoman, you can't do that! THIEF!

The thief part should have been the least of my concerns. I couldn't help but notice the glares and starting from the corner of my eye. And on at least one occasion he tried to come and dance with me when Swiss Edward was further away.

NO DICE! Remember how i REALLY SUPER DUPER dislike you?! Ya, that hasn't changed. A girl's gotta go to the bathroom though so off i went, all by myself.

Conveniently, SwissEdward's said gal friend was also in the bathroom.

A: So...aren't you Frenchie's girlfriend?

D: Umm no! That's a big misunderstanding. I was never his girlfriend and we are not together.

A: [not convinced] Ooooh ok. B/c i know you are dancing with Swiss Edward a lot...

D: Ya i'm not Frenchie's girlfriend, but he won't listen to me when i tell him that i'm not interested.

A: [seems like she believed me] Oh well ok, i was just wondering b/c it was a bit strange.

You know what's a bit strange?!?! YOU French people's interpretation of EVERYTHING! Holy crap. Butt out of my life already!!!

Well that was a pleasant bathroom break. It wasn't over. As i was walking back, Frenchie snuck up on me and cornered me yet again! Some bullshit about needing to talk to me blah blah blah. I don't want to talk to you! i told him. All i want to do is get back to my Swiss Edward [and grind up on his fabulous fit body]. I got angry and pried myself away, warning him to stay away from me and went back to my Halloween candy.

Now the staring and glaring intensified. All of a sudden, Frenchie's little roommate girl comes up to Edward and starts whispering in his ear. He responds with a smirk. I caught on real fast. She was a messenger.

D: "Listen - you go back and tell Frenchie to leave me alone b/c this is NONE of his business. And don't act like a highschool idiot as well by being his fucking messenger."

[Exchange folks were always a little taken aback with my fast and fluent English, especially when i was angry and swearing. It was entertaining lol]

She walked away & Swiss Edward turned his gorgeous green eyes to me & said, "We're allowed to dance, no?" *sexy smirk smile*

I turned into one of these instantly.

[credit]

Best Halloween ever. And i was pretty sure that Frenchie was now gone for good! Bonus!

But was he? ... ;)

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Frenchie, part 2

For part 1, go here.

After Frenchie's little "listed in a relationship" shenanigans without consulting me, I still needed to clean up this mess b.c i didn't want to be that girl in the exchange community. So back to PMs it was:

Daniela October 6, 2008 at 5:38pm

ok so i don't think you really understood before when I was trying to explain that I am not looking for something serious. by that i mean that i am not looking for anything at all with anyone. like what happened was just random and nothing major. I apologize if you got the wrong impression about this but it’s really nothing and I’m sorry if you thought something else.

Frenchie October 7, 2008 at 5:24am

ok but i think you misanderstood too.

first, i think you go too far for just one thing on facebook because for me, we are just together at oestrich-winkel and that´s all.

secondly, who told you that i was looking for something serious???

Nobody! (i don´t know what you imagine...) That´s just your interpretation...so you don´t have to apologize because maybe we have a different meaning of the word "in a relationship" because for "normal people" that DOES NOT mean at all that it is serious.

so i think that you go too far for a thing that is not worth!

i thought we could just take some time together but apparently I am wrong...

In hindsight, i'm mildly insulted that he didn't think i was worth his interpretation of "serious". However my jaw dropped at the fact that i was considered abnormal. Really? To "normal" people, announcing to the world that you're now in some kind of relationship is a pretty big deal. No?

I don't even want to get into the number of questions I had to fend off about me being his girlfriend. Annoying. Bah.

Sidenote: During my sober interactions prior to this status change, i had him watch Wedding Crashers. He didn't find it funny. I should have known then.

Another week or so later, we were at a party and i was seriously avoiding him & trying to have a good time. Just before i left, he cornered me to argue his point and tried to convince me that i was crazy about my 'serious relationship' talk. CORNERED! I hate being embarrassed in public like that.

I didn't even have a response b/c frankly i could not care less! I just kind of nodded and said "whatever". And only then did he return the earrings i had forgotten at his house. Whatta jerk.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't so much the relationship status itself (i know we take that Facebook shit too seriously), but the principal behind it and the vehement denial. I just found it disrespectful and angering.

This is taking a serious turn, which is NOT what i'm going for. This shit is more funny than anything. And educational with respect to European men. Who are an all-together different breed, trust me.

We partially made up at another party to drunkenly dance the night away together but that didn't change the fact that i had ZERO tolerance for him when i was sober.

I swear this guy had the most annoying personality ever; and honestly, half the time i didn't know what he was trying to say to me. The fact that he was a French model from Paris didn't phase me in the least.

I do recall a (sober) conversation we had very early on, in which he pretty much told me his father was a typically-awesome French lover. The proof being Frenchie's various half-siblings. ARE WE SERIOUSLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW?! Gross

By past mid-October I had stopped running into him so frequently b/c we ran in different circles. Thankfully. However i checked his relationship status regularly but nothing changed :(

By then I had also started reading Twilight...

...and just like in Twilight, you had to get through part 2 to reach more of the good stuff, sorry! Stay tuned ;)

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Can't take rejection much?

Sorry, i know i'm overloading you with posts today - but you know you love it, don't lie :)

So remember super clingy guy from last weekend? Well, read here if you can't keep track of the many douchebags that i meet.

After that post, i figured i'd give him a shot because he was nice enough. I also have the habit of 'reading a book by its cover' and not giving people [guys] chances, so i figured i would. What's the harm?

Well that depends on your definition of harm. I consider having meaningless [and sometimes forced] conversations and being called "cutie", "sweetie" & "angel" in every other text message harmful to my health.

The following are some texting highlights from Saturday:

[I changed my # this past weekend and sent a mass text to inform my contacts]
"That was ur only chance to get rid of me now your [excellent grammar skills] screwd girl lol :p"
Yeah i totally should have just cut you off that way. I'm a little bit more mature though. But don't worry, I have other ways to get rid of you.

"Ok cutie txt me later checking in lol... I'll be waiting, and don't get too hammered tonight won't b there for u to have a shoulder to lean on lol"
How about you stop talking now? Seriously, wow. And how about you do not tell me what to do? Plus, i was nowhere near 'hammered' last week. Just happy drunk. Maybe i should have been hammered cuz then i totally would have ignored your ass. Frig.

"Did you have fun tonight? Get drunk? Pick up any guys lololol"
Yeah, i picked them all up. I should have told him that too. What an idiot. I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A WEEK why do you keep forgetting that? Because you now look like a total idiot.

I avoided him all day yesterday & today because i'm BUSY and have nothing to say to him. Some people just can't take a hint. So i resorted to letting him down gently tonight.

"Yaaa..so listen, you seem like a great guy but honestly as u can see my life is pretty busy right now. I don't really have time for anything else at the moment. I don't wanna waste your time and mine 'cause I don't really see this going anywhere."

Get a load of the response: "Later"
Ugh...as in you're too busy to reply and we'll discuss it later? Confused. "Sorry, what?"
His moment of epic maturity consisted of: "Later aka bye!"

That actually happened. Buddy, you're 27 and that's your reaction? With the rejections you've probably faced due to your serious clingy-ness, you really haven't honed your taking-it-like-a-man skills. Get some of those, because you'll clearly need to use them in the future.

I do now kinda wish i hadn't bothered giving him my new number, but hopefully he just deletes me. On the bright side, at least i didn't have to explain to him why it wouldn't work. I just don't like you. But no one likes to hear that.

On an even brighter note, it made for some good blog content! We should all send the big baby a big thank you!

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Frenchie, part 1

Has anyone ever been on exchange abroad? Well i have. In the Fall of 2008 i went to Germany and it was the best decision i have ever made!

Not to be confused with me making the best decisions while i was out there. Those are two very different things.

But anyone and everyone will tell you that the time you are away on exchange is not the time to hold back. Let loose, take risks, live while you can! All true. And this will likely lead to some very interesting stories.

So back to me in Germany in 2008. I went through a very shitty breakup at the start of it b/c apparently i like to date big douchebags. That's besides the point.

The short story is that after sulking i was ready to have some fun, and my flatmate had the inside scoop on a guy that was interested in me. Little old me! Fast forward a few days to Oktoberfest in Munich:

That's just the first litre. At approximately 11am

What happens when I consume two of those? My flatmate (in blue, above) convinces me to make out with this interested guy, who we shall call Frenchie - on camera. Most other things are a blur. Including the video.

So what? Everyone makes out. No big deal. We're all friends here, it's exchange!

Fast forward another week to a campus party. This was such a hawt mess for everyone, no one even got a chance to document any of it. And yours truly was the honourable Queen of Hawt Mess that evening.

The result of this being the walk of shame the next morning after passing out too soon to make this story even more interesting. Really, i'm not in denial or anything. Good thing i wore flats - it made the walk home in a quiet German village slightly less shameful. Slightly.

But after knowing this guy for a week, and having some sober interaction, i wasn't too thrilled with his personality so i wasn't planning on hanging out with him outside of group functions.

Later that evening, Facebook newsfeed greets me with the update that Frenchie "is now listed as in a relationship <3."

Immediately i kick into troubleshooting mode and PM him simply asking him what this is all about. The most hilarious part i think is the fact that no matter who i tell this story to, their interpretation is "OMG this guy had a girlfriend?! And fooled around anyway?! What an asshole!" Oh NOOOOOOO - i was the relationship! LOL

But who the hell has time to wait for a PM reply?! Not this girl. So I then opted for the faster, more direct method of Facebook chat (which i hate):

D: in a relationship? what's that about?

F: what's that about??

Oook, i should have used simpler English.

D: yeah what's taht supposed to mean?

F: Ugh so for you we are not in a relationship?

UGH no buddy what the fuck is wrong with you..don't you usually need to discuss with someone if you are in a relationship? Crazy French!!!!!

D: Umm lets see i've known u for a WEEK, and i'm not looking for something serious.

F: yeah i know and dont worry i dont consider that it is serious enough too but for me now i am in a relationship but that DOES NOT mean that it is serious i hav to go sorry see u.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?!?!?!?

Dammit! Back home you go home with a guy hoping he'll want more and you get nada. Now the ONE time I do something casual (not to mention out of nature) I get THIS?! How unfair is that?!

The worst part is i had to wait to get this cleared up. And you my dears, have to wait until part 2 for more ;)

Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.

Warning: This will not be a polished post. It's an impromptu rant.

I had a great weekend, was pretty darn tired by the end of it, met & made out with a guy at the bar on Friday, blah blah blah.

He was cute & a good kisser (always a pleasant surprise) but drunk self should have seen the warning signs when he said (at the club) "i hope you're not looking for a fling, because i'm looking for the girlfriend type."

My response was to show my face in my drink and nod vigorously. Not even sure exactly what i was agreeing to but i was having a good time dammit, so nod away i did!

At first the persistence was nice. Shut up, don't even try to tell me you don't like getting attention.  Now it's Monday night and i'm tired of playing fucking 20 questions over texts. Plus, you getting WAY too freaking ahead of yourself!

If you get any more overbearing i'm gonna for real run away. And i might even do it in the cowardly way of just not replying b/c i don't feel like explaining myself. Good thing i'm changing my number at the end of the week.

This makes me compare you to the ones i'm (not actually) over more and more. Which is bad. B/c i don't want to think about Rockstar or Megaman (post to come soon) right now.

I like my life the way it is, and i'm not saying i wouldn't want a relationship, but i don't believe in changing my life entirely for one. Like...i never text this much! lol ok ok bad example.

Just stop making me feel like there's some obligation for this to fucking GO somewhere. Geez. What a waste of a good kisser.

Sorry. Had to vent. Thank you. XX


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