August 24, 2015

The Wedding Files #1 - The Big Question

Not the, "Will you marry me?" question; the other big question.  We'll get to that.

There's a serious misconception about feelings when it comes to getting engaged and planning a wedding. You're expected to be thrilled & excited and anything less is regarded as just plain weird. I'm here to tell you that it's more than ok not to feel this way. In fact, being shocked, scared, doubtful, angry and stressed are far more likely what you'll experience once you get engaged. Along with the happy and exciting moments of course!

I most certainly felt all of the above for the twenty months we were engaged. Yes, twenty whole months. I wrote two posts about wedding planning after we got engaged, and was then MIA for eight months. It's a lot of work but it's worth it in the end. Trust me - I didn't believe it myself until the day was over but it is. You'll see!

That's why I'm starting wedding series - in the hopes that at least some of you will find my experiences beneficial. While nobody's wedding journey is the same, I found it very useful to pick and choose different people's advice and suggestions as I saw fit. I also ignored a lot of the advice because well, sometimes it's just not good advice!

So welcome to...

There are definitely some key things to do before you jump into planning but the most important one is to answer the 'big question' first:
Do you want to have a wedding?

I know how that sounds but seriously - is this what you want? You've more than likely talked to your partner about it before, but if you haven't, now is the time. Who cares what everyone else expects - your fiancé, your family, his/her family, social norms - you need to know what you want! It's not necessarily a black and white yes/no to the wedding, but what you envision for yourself and where you're willing to make compromises.

I hate to break it to you but it's about the marriage, not the wedding so how you two go about this wedding business will be a good indication of how you two handle 'big things' together. So before the next post I need you to go figure out what you want! 

Happy Planning!

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  1. Omg I love this! 20 months ain't nothin'! Joey informally asked me to marry him in June 2013. It is now August 2015 so...anyway. At first I did want a big deal wedding with all the bells and whistles. But then, as time went by (over two years and counting) the wedding excitement kinda fizzled out as other things came up. Started working, Trace's accident, school, moving, etc. Now having a wedding and getting married isn't much of a priority for us anymore. I mean, we've already got three kids and have been together for 9 years (10 years in October) so another couple years of not being officially married isn't such a big deal.

  2. I love this! I HATED wedding planning. We went from having a big church ceremony and fancy reception to inviting our friends and family to Vegas to get hitched in a cheesy chapel. Looking back, I wish we would have just eloped. I was so stressed and possibly depressed that I didn't even have a good time and felt like it was a waste of money. Maybe I'll do it all over with a vow renewal someday.


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