May 26, 2011

Me, confused? Hell yes.

I was letting my mind go off on tangents the other day when all of a sudden I realized, I really actually do not know what I want. At all. Thoughts of work, money, family, friends, love, crushes, summer & all things future-related clouded my mind. It only lasted a few seconds but it ended with my brain screaming

I'm well-aware that that was probably all fueled by love frustrations, considering that the next night I had this mini-rant:
Seriously, I don't even know what to say or think anymore. There are no dating rules, no guidelines. No single thing is valid 100% of the time because every person & situation is completely different, whether it's obvious or not. You just gotta go with it. Fuck."

This past weekend I also went to the driving range with a guy [friend] from work. He may or may not have paid for that...and dinner afterwards. And he drove. Vik tactfully noted that 'as far as he was concerned, this was clearly a date.'

Honestly? I don't even care anymore. Really. I am sick & tired of over-analyzing every situation and every conversation just to come to no conclusion at all! I had a good time & frankly that's all that's important. Do I like him? Maybe. Is it mutual? Maybe. Am I over my last crush yet? Probably not. Do I still have unresolved feelings for #Rockstar? Oh yes. Does it really fucking matter? Umm, not really.

I've done the 'waiting around for the right thing/time' often enough to know that waiting is stupid. Life doesn't stop. So I'm just going with the flow & whoever wants to come along for the ride is welcome to, but I don't want my life to pass me by like this.

1 comment :

  1. I basically want to scream "I DON'T KNOW" everyday for a lot of things, but especially for work related things. Ugh. I guess because I'm done school now and am almost 24, I should "know"- nope. Not even close.


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