March 16, 2011

Confirmed: [seemingly] impossible goals can be achieved

So I didn't really give enough credit to how awesome my Saturday night was in my own mind. In hindsight, it was kind of really fantastic. Largely because I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. And honestly, I always have way more fun with strangers that I meet just before going out. Is that sad? Whatever, it's true.

It was also partly fantastic because I achieved one of my life goals - the one that was least likely no less. HA! But more on that later.

Saturday was my good friend Dan's birthday partay. He's the only other friend I talk to from high school, and apparently the pattern there is I only keep in touch with my gay friends. But the pattern really is that I only keep in touch with my FUN friends. The level of lame that 99% of my high school friends have achieved will absolutely blow your mind. And not in a good way. So I don't want your mind to be blown.

Originally I wasn't going to go because I wasn't sure if I wanted to show up alone but then I was like, "D, you're crazy - it is never not a good time with Dan & you're increda-social...who cares if you're showing up alone!? Lest you forget how much fun you had the last time you went to a gay bar with Dan..."

One night last summer, I was out in Toronto with girlfriends (before I moved here) and managed to predrink a little too heavily which resulted in getting kicked out of the bar about 6 minutes after getting in. I'm not the type of person to pull others out of the bar to take care of me & ruin their fun - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (thanks Matthew 7:12...& Google) - so I told the girls not to worry about me, I had a plan & we'd meet up afterwards.

My brilliant plan consisted of asking Dan to text me the address of the bar he was at & I would Google Map my way over there via my BlackBerry. I mean, my BlackBerry is amazing but let's be serious - I was just kicked out of a bar...LOL Which is probably the best thing that could have happened because that night was awesome! The played Dance Mix '95. Need I say more? That night, the gay community stole my [dancing] heart.

Back to present day
So I hott up & go to Dan's birthday pre-drink. Pretty gay boys everywhere! They're just so much fun. Also met Dan's boyfriend - they're so so cute together :) Also met his ex-bf - he sure knows how to pick 'em! By now I'm beyond glad that I won't be dealing with any straight boy bullshit tonight & can just have fun! Sweet!

First tweet of the night: Caaaaan't even get over how social i am! I love gay boys :)

Just before leaving for the bar I was talking to a guy when it came up that this would also be his second time at a gay bar.

Me: Really? How come?
Guy: Well, I just normally go to other bars.
Me: Oh, ok then. How can a gay guy NOT prefer going to gay bars?! Craziness.

Well here's the thing...turns out he's not gay.

Me: Ooooh, omg I'm sorry I just kind of I assumed that!
Guy: No no that's ok...people often say I look very metro.
No darling. You look as gay as any of these other boys here. But leave it to me to find the one "straight" guy in a pack of like 30.

As we head to the bar, I'm totally not thrilled about how I now likely have to spend my night either A) getting rid of him [nicely], or B) expending a serious amount of effort into not giving out an "I could in some lifetime potentially be interested" vibe while also trying to have a good time.

Fortunately I didn't have to resort to either. While grabbing drinks at the bar with him, some guy chatted him up - shocking, I know - so I turned around to head back to the dance floor & who do I see...Dan's ex-bf.

Me: Hey you! Haven't seen ya around all night!
Ex: Ya eh! *stares at me with indescribable baby blues & a smile that is to die for...excuse me while I melt*

Last tweet of the night:
 I may or may not be making out with my gay friend;s ex-bf...yaaa meeee I'm almost acvcomplishing me life goala [excuse my shitty drunken typing]

And by making out I mean the type of hardcore macking on eachother all over the bar that you are embarrassed about the next day when your friends fill you in. And no, I am nowhere near embarrassed. How could I be embarrassed about achieving my #1 goal in life of hooking up with a gay guy? A gay guy as beautiful as him, no less.

Oh & don't worry - Dan was fully aware & ok with it. Not that I remembered to ask for permission ahead of time. Plus, 'straight' guy's face when he turned around to follow me to the dancefloor (which I only saw from the corner of my eye because I was already busy) - priceless.

My [dancing] heart still belongs to the gay community.


  1. HAHA I love this. Seriously, I was hoping you would write about this after I read that second tweet.
    Not to mention I've always wanted a gay friend..hope no one finds that offensive!

  2. This is one of the best stories I've ever read! I'm a new follower. :)


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